Mostly in how my performance fares. I’ve found that when I have a BP coffee in the morning, my appetite at night is non-existent, leading me to often skip dinner or to eat just a snack, which in turn makes morning workouts terrible. But I also recognize that maybe chugging BP coffees isn’t the best thing for my body comp right now - I don’t see how it would benefit me unless I did keto, and I like fruit and potatoes far too much to ever do that.
Foodz, April 16, 2014
Breakfast: Bacon, fried eggs, pico de gallo and sauerkraut. Greek yogurt with honey and a coffee with coconut milk.
Lunch: Parsnip and cauliflower mash with cochinita pibil, pico de gallo and baby kale.
Snacks:Dried apricots, Earl Grey with ginger
Dinner: Pan-fried salmon, roasted cauliflower and sauteed kale. Glass of Merlot.
I’ve been surviving on bulletproof coffees in the morning and while I love the convenience and taste, it’s not really working for a multitude of reasons. Trying to get back to eating a full breakfast for a bit to see if I can incite any improvements. So far, I’ve just felt gross eating solid food in the morning, but I guess it’s just the adjustment.
OH JESUS TITS my sternum just cracked like goddamn Rice Krispies while stretching. I’m not a doctor but I’m about 7000% sure that that’s not totally normal.
Body, y u so weird?
Food log: April 15, 2014
Breakfast: Two bananas, iced bulletproof coffee, half an avocado, hardboiled egg, smoked salmon and peppers.
Lunch: Salmon, baby kale, cauliflower and parsnip puree and golden beets.
Dinner: Iced coffee, hard-boiled eggs, garlicky olives (I should be flogged for eating these in public), thinly sliced filet mignon, half an avocado. Cherry tomatoes, strawberries and a dark chocolate pistachio bite.
Yes, hello, bottomless pit today. Sorry for the posting ho maneuvers today.
Multi-tasking: class reading and MWOD.
You’ve got to fucking be kidding me. This is an impressive amount of misogynist/slut-shaming bullshit from a woman. Christ alive. I don’t even have the energy to write up a ragey rebuttal, that’s how idiotic this is.
Wearing mascara is indicative of fucking nothing when it comes to the capabilities or the level of “inner badass” of a woman (Hi Stacie). Grow the fuck up.
I knew HQ was terrible with this kind of dialogue, but really? Now the affiliate community too? UGHHH.
To keep the rhapsodizing about the Boston Marathon anniversary to a minimum, I don’t want to write up a bit emotional post about it (which I kind of already have done…), but I do want to acknowledge the day in some way.
The Marathon is a huge deal at my alma mater Tufts (I think Tufts sends one of the biggest charity teams every year), and this video is just wonderful. It’s so nice to see my old co-worker Alonso (and Coach, to an extent!) have the opportunity to get a re-do from last year, or test their resolve in running their first marathon, like Courtney is! I’m cheering for everyone on the TMT, but especially for those who didn’t get to finish last year.
6:00 am Regular Class
Warm-up: PVC Fran, band pull-aparts
A: 6x1 Clean Complex at 75%
- 2 Cleans
- 2 Jerks
B: CF Baseline on Steroids
- 1000m row
- 40 Goblet Squats (53/35)
- 30 Kettlebell Swings
- 20 Hand-release push-ups
- 10 Muscle ups
So many things to talk about today! Hands are so much prettier after I spent half an hour polishing them up last night. However, the pain, oh god the pain. And the dryness. There isn’t enough Bag Balm in the world.
Packed my lax ball in my bag today. Let’s multitask and unfuck them feet while I’m at work / library. Also, let’s talk about how I can’t pants. Even my trusty Minnies are giving me shit. Is there such thing as a glute / quad pump? Because my pants say yes. And yes, it’s finally iced coffee weather, sweeeeeet.
Onto the WOD!
Part A: 6x1 at 105. Slow as molasses today. Warm-ups at 85 felt like 135. Jerks especially were terrible, so ridiculously slow. Although, it was a special treat to have Jess coaching this am as she never coaches mornings. She and I played with my clean catch a little bit, and I tried catching in a much wider foot position than normally. I don’t know if I like it, but focusing on moving my feet out prevented me from hopping forward, so that’s good. My wrist was completely buggered with the jerk doubles though.
Part B: 10:44 with 25 ring rows subbed for muscle ups. Goblet squats after rowing? HA! Goblet squats were definitely the worst of it, once again on my wrist. I think I’ll have to take the rest of the week very carefully. I rowed next to Brandan, who’s like 6’5” and a former rower. I paced off of him, matched his pulls. He was off the rower when I had about 250m left. Goddamn tall people.
I’ve been thinking a lot about performance, and trying to figure out what I want out of CrossFit recently. Having to scale and modify almost every workout and not being able to hit my old numbers is a little discouraging. I get so easily frustrated with myself, like today with jerks. I’ve never really had to work for a lot of things - I was one of those people that seriously coasted through high school and half of college and still finished in the 95th percentile - but I also haven’t ever really challenged myself, until CF. I know it sounds cheesy and mawkish, but with CF, I’ve had to work to get that extra 5 pounds on a lift or shave off ten seconds on a metcon. And I feel like now that I’m not necessarily hitting my highest weights, or even 75% comfortably, I feel betrayed by the process, to an extent. I worked for those numbers - why can’t I have them now? It’s just a silly mindfuck, but it’s also affecting my attitude a lot. Patience, grasshopper.
In the same vein, I also keep reminding myself “You’re not going to regionals, it’s okay”. I’m just struggling to find a balance between what I used to be able to do, what I want to do, and what I can do right now. I think the most frustrating part right now is that I feel like I have so little control over what I can do, because I also refuse to train through pain. Discomfort, yes, but pain, never. Stupid bum hand. At least I’ve gotten super good at taping my thumb into a hook grip.
6:00am Regular Class
Warm-up: 2 rounds: 10 Inverted Burpees , 10 V-Ups, 10 Hollow Rocks, 15 Air Squats
A: Front Squat
- 2 warm up sets
- 5 at 75%
- 2x5 at 80%
- 2x5 at 83-85%
- 1x7 at 75%
B: Dubs In and Out
- 75 DU Buy in
- Then, 5 RFT:
- 15 Wall Balls (20/14 lb to 10/9 feet)
- 12 TTB
- 75 DU Buy out
Bit of a slow morning all in all. I didn’t get enough sleep as I was minding a batch of cochnita pibil in the oven last night, which took its sweet time cooking until midnight. Also, I didn’t eat a proper dinner, which definitely showed as fatigue during the metcon.
Let’s talk about this warm-up. What the fucking hell? I get the core is important to front squats, but really? GTFO.
Part A: It’s only a couple of hours later, but my back is already sort of DOMSed. Staying upright was a bit of a struggle as my wrist was definitely strained, too. Warmed up at 65 and 85. Working sets: 5 sets at 125, 2x5 at 135, 1x5 and 1x3 at 145. I just couldn’t hold the front rack for the full five reps at 145. Fine enough, I should probably scale down my working 1RM from 170 to 160, just so I don’t feel like I’m dying every time. Haven’t front squatted in six weeks either - this was a good test to figure out where I’m at for the rest of this wave.
Part B: 13:44 with ab-mat sit-ups to save the wrist. I was ready to strangle myself on the rig with my rope. I couldn’t string together more than 15 DUs this morning. My new rope’s arrival today couldn’t have come sooner. Otherwise this was fine, I experimented a little bit on wall ball squat depth, because I realize I normally bottom out completely and it’s more taxing than it needs to be.
9:30am Open Gym
- 5x5 Ring rows
- Death by Kettlebell Swings at 1.5 pood.
Spent the better part of my time just trying to unfuck the right side of my right leg, which is not enjoying my gait experiments. My foot is feeling better, but the forced turning in of my foot is causing all kinds of fun tension in my hip and patella. Got intimate with the lax ball and my Achilles feel better, but not 100%. I have lax balls at home, but I’m just too lazy to use them. I should probably change this so I don’t have to spend almost 90 minutes wailing on Sundays.
After I’d done the mobility work, I did 5x5 ring rows, because these are my new jam. I keep lowering the rings further, to up the difficulty, and I have to say, I’m really enjoying the challenge. I find ring rows so much better on my wrist and janky shoulders than any other pulling work, so I’ll keep these around.
Brooke asked me if I wanted to do a “Death By” with her, and after some contemplation, we settled on kettle-bell swings. I didn’t want it to go on forever, so 35# was out, and I said “well why don’t we do 53#?”. Don’t think I’ve ever gone overhead with 53# before, so this was clearly a plan of unparalleled brilliance. Just to get the damn bell moving took like three half-swings, which is why I didn’t want to break the swings up, but around the eight minute, it got a little perilous. I kept asking who picked the weight, and Brooke kept calling me names. Friendship!
I wanted to get to twelve minutes, but we both called it at ten, just so our grips wouldn’t fail. Did the last set in two, because I was afraid of flinging the bell into someone’s face. Some of our 53# bells have much thicker handles than the 35# ones, darn. Good stuff though: not a long one, or a particularly taxing one, but I got to try something new!
After open gym, couple of us headed out to brunch, because I’m going away for two weeks, and I already haven’t seen some of my favorite ladies in a while. We had a fun time chatting, and we talked a lot about the state of the gym right now.
We’ve had a lot of grievances about the owner, who bless his heart, is a wonderful human, but not necessarily the most skilled in running a gym, organizationally (doesn’t respond to emails, for example) or from a programmatic perspective. We have two coaches who now do the programming (Beth, our regionals gal and her boyfriend, Joe), who speak Prilepin, periodization, and are technically both very skilled. Unfortunately, it looks like they might be leaving the gym at some point in the next six months as Beth picks to which grad school she ends up going. I’m worried that their departure will just create chaos. I’m also hoping that they don’t leave, but that’s an unlikely scenario. I’m afraid the programming will be great for people who are just starting out, and people will be excited about the quarterly paleo challenges, but there will be a huge gap in services and coaching for the intermediate athletes.
I’ve loved training at CWCF, but I’m slowly coming to terms with the fact that if Beth and Joe leave, I might have to consider other alternatives (such as a S&C gym), because I don’t have faith in anyone else to provide the same level of coaching as they do. We have Jess, who is a national-level masters weightlifter and has a keen eye for good movement, but she only coaches one night a week. Problem is that I can’t really afford any of the other CF gyms around the area, which leaves me in a bit of a bind.
I feel pretty confident that I would be motivated to follow alternative programming on my own, but I would miss the interactions with a coach. Also, there are still a pile of skills I need to master, and most of those won’t happen without coaching. But there also isn’t space / open gym times for me to really currently to that either at my gym.
Not necessarily related, but I’ve also done the math on how much money our owner makes, roughly, after paying rent, staff and utilities etc. It’s certainly not like he couldn’t actually afford to hire someone full-time to run the operations, and someone else to run the programming, and still have plenty left over.
I wish I had the space to set up a garage gym, and just bribe Jess with dinner and have her over once a week to help me with technique.
I think I’ll just have to see how this all plays out in the coming months, and see what my friends, who have similar concerns, end up doing.
Downsides of waking up at 5am during the week: waking up at 5am during the weekend
Case of the well-I-guess-I’m-up-nows.
GPOY: Photo essay of me after writing some of the largest checks of my entire life to pay for taxes this afternoon.
billmbajd: I just used a simple recipe from thekitchn.com. Searched for “sauerkraut” and it was maybe the third article that came up.
unofficiallycrossfitbanks: I get the idea of competing with other people, but the refreshing doesn’t do any good for me. I just end up feeling inadequate rather than happy with my own progress. It’s a stupid mind game after which I always end up feeling negative about my progress or lack thereof.
Friday night lights
I finally tasted sauerkraut I jarred last Sunday! It was super duper easy to make, and it’s turned out quite spicy and delicious, and I am unreasonably proud of this fact. My late Nana would be so proud. I ate sauerkraut, pickles, wine and cheese for dinner because apparently I’m Eastern European (I mean, true) / pregnant (JK, dudes) / way too lazy to make dinner (accurate).
Handed off two quite large projects at work today that have been hanging over my head for far too long. Just tedious things I’m so glad to have off my desk. I feel good about peacing out for two weeks next Friday - looks like there are very few things I’ll have to take care of while I’m gone, which is pleasing. Allows me to pretend I’m a just a full-time student, train at a reasonable hour, rifle through my sister’s closet and steal her clothes, drink whiskey with my dad, and eat my mom’s cooking without worrying about work.
6am WODs have worked so far in the sense that I’ve felt decently good about the accomplishment factor, and I have had more time for school work - leading to less time for stressing out. But it’s led to a weird cycle where I keep refreshing the Wodify page during the day to see how the rest of the day’s results stack up. I shouldn’t care, but I feel sort of inadequate when lots of others blow past me, especially in the strength portions. I know I’m only competing against myself, and working my way back from an injury, but it’s still sort of discouraging. I keep comparing myself to others and thinking they don’t deserve to lift more than I do, which is just shitty. I should just stop refreshing the page, huh.
Need to get my snacking under control. Badly. But I’m beyond bored by cooking. Someone please send me a private chef. Thankfully, my mom is going to feed me for two weeks starting a week from Sunday. I can’t overstate how excited this makes me. Explaining that I probably won’t be eating her homemade cinnamon rolls, ciabatta or rice-stuffed cabbage rolls… not as exciting.
Reading Americanah. It’s very good, and I’m about halfway done. Probably not as good at The Goldfinch, but very good nonetheless. I also can’t overstate how happy I am that I’ve been making more time for leisure reading. Thanks 6am WODs, and lack of good British TV.
Basically none of the software we’re supposed to be using for my online class work. My class is called ”New Technologies for Distance Learning”. The irony is too much to bear.
When we asked you to return to the finish line, a place that changed your lives, we knew it wouldn’t be easy. You told us some days are harder than others, but that it’s okay to have bad days. Mostly you told us about the goodness of others. Colleagues who babysat. School kids who sent notes. Neighbors who cooked dinner. What happened that day was terror. Terror happens when love is absent. Boston is a city of love stories now. Thank you for sharing yours here. As you heal, know you inspire the rest of us to be better, still.
Oh it’s okay, it’s just raining on my face.
The Marathon has sort of crept up on me. This spring has gone by so fast that I didn’t realize it’s only about a week away. I’ll be out of town for the first time in eight years during the Marathon, and I’m sort of unhappy about it. It would be amazing to just feel the city’s energy, the sentiment of “you can’t fuck with this city” ringing loudly on April 21st. I can’t wait to see how this year’s Marathon finally puts an end to the story from last year, allowing the city to really move on.
Now, I’m no runner whatsoever, but I do consider myself a Bostonian, mostly because I’ve chosen, and continue to choose, to be here. Boston is a really weird place a lot of times: the weather is nearly never pleasant, there’s a prickliness to all the residents, and god knows we can’t boast about being the most culturally refined city. But there’s a charm to it all, and I don’t think I’d want to live anywhere else right now.
There have been a lot of these articles and tributes as the Marathon is approaching, but none as moving, to me, as this one. There’s just something really raw, yet joyful, about these pictures and stories.